I’ve made myself sick.
I ate to much sugar now my body can’t coupe I can hardly move breathe or even speak I’m in agony I have a headache and allbthat rubbish but on top of everything I feel really sad and scared I keep haveing panic attacks I I’m terrified that I will have another one they’re horrible and scairy they keep making me throw up I clawed at my chest last time like I was trying to rip out my own heart like in that drawing I did I have all this pain it hurts tbh I feel like beating my self up all the time I kinda just wanna like my self bit it’s hard she won’t let me she’s still there I gave her an image the red head in my drawings is her she’s the reason I wanna change my name I feel like she is Sarah not me she’s a past me who’s trapped in my head I feel crazy saying it I really do but she’s real as real as I am and she’s difficult to control.
I’m shutting the world out for a while.
I don’t plan on really talking to anyone online for a while I don’t feel up to it and I don’t want anyone else to have to deal with my self hate and self pity.
I really feel quite shit and alone but tbh I think its better to be alone because if you are alone then no one can hurt you I really don’t see my self having the same friends this time next year everyone always leaves or I push them away some how.
Shut up Momo no one cares.
Why are you so stupid can’t you see you annoy everyone you speak to just leave everyone alone stop talking no one likes you your not a nice person.
I wish I had friends
Everyone gos out but me I just sit hear no one asks me to go out anywhere or invites me to things I want to belong somewhere I fealt I belonged in the abyss but it collapsed no one gos there anymore I miss it all people are talking to me less it hurts I’m losing pepole again but I should just deal with it.